This type of dream may leave you feeling very uncomfortable, especially if you’re a happily married man or woman who believes in covenantal relationship with an ‘I’m in this forever’ mentality. The reality is, God is warning you, but it most likely is not about your actual marriage.
In the Bible, Jesus is represented symbolically as the Husband. Dreaming about having an affair is a warning about Idolatry in your life. You have put someone or something before your relationship with God, and He is asking for His rightful place back. In short, God needs to be number one.
I recently had a dream like this, so I can honestly say that it is such a terrible feeling to wake up from a dream like this when you are totally and one hundred percent committed to your husband or wife in real life. I knew immediately what it meant though, and I’m going to share my personal story in hope that it helps you.
I’m in the full-time ministry, and have also just given birth to my beautiful daughter, Amelia Noelle, who is now fast approaching three months of age. If you’ve had a newborn, you will know that the first little while is a crazy whirlwind of emotion, very long nights and countless diaper changes. All wonderful, but in the midst of it, while trying to keep the ministry afloat and still give my daughter and husband the time that they deserve, I began to sacrifice my morning devotional time with the Lord. A big mistake considering everything you do flows out of a place of intimacy with the Lord when you’re in ministry.
I wrongfully thought that by cutting the devotional time down, and instead using a portion of it to start work as quickly as possible, while Amelia was sleeping and my husband Logan was at work, then I could get the hours in and not have to work late into the evening when Logan was at home and able to look after Amelia. I had forgotten that when you give the Lord the first portion (much like the tithe in finances), He supernaturally stretches what you have remaining, and somehow there is always enough… In this instance, enough TIME to get it all done.
I then had two dreams. Bare with me as I explain the first one, as it leads into the second ‘affair’ dream;
The first dream, I dreamed my baby was sick and I was at the hospital. In the dream, the doctor told me that it was 50/50 – half the babies that came in with this condition made it, the other half did not. He then prescribed a 14-day course of antibiotics and directed to me to a doctor who was to do an examination after the course. I looked over at the doctor, and found it to be the worship leader of our church. I woke up out of the dream and this is what I felt the Lord say;
I’ll preface with, dreams of today are much like that of those in Bible times. That is, they are symbolic.
The Lord showed me that the baby was the ministry. In reality, the ministry is new, still very young, having just been birthed by God and reliant on me to take care of it in every way. The baby (ministry) was sick. The number 14 represents the Passover – this is when God freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, as seen in the book of Exodus. The number 14 therefore is symbolic of liberation from slavery. The Worship leader was symbolic of what was needed to bring healing; Worship.
I was greatly distressed when I had this dream, as a ‘sick ministry’ cannot help anyone, and I had no clue what was wrong or causing the problem. I prayed and asked the Lord to show me, and despite how very painful it was, I promised the Lord that I would lay it down and not do anything further in the ministry until He showed me what the problem was.
I’m not a fearful person at all, I don’t ‘have fears’, but I do have the Fear of the Lord and NEVER want to lead people in the wrong way. I prayed, asking God to help me examine every aspect of the ministry and my heart, in order to reveal to me what the problem was, and while this took place, as mentioned, I made the decision to stop all work with the ministry until I knew what the problem was.
That night, I had another dream; The AFFAIR dream;
In this dream, I found myself, while happily married, in a relationship with another man. It was so bizarre as I did not want to give up my husband, but instead, I was trying to incorporate my relationship with this new man, into my covenantal relationship with my husband.
In the dream, I knew it was wrong, but because I was not getting physical with this new man, (instead he had become my best friend), and because I was trying to include my husband into it, I was somehow justifying doing it in my mind. I woke up out of this dream and I knew immediately what God was saying;
The ministry was sick, and it was sick because I had put everyone and everything else ahead of my relationship with Jesus. Jesus is always to be in the number one spot.
As I said, in the Bible, Jesus is symbolically represented as the Husband. All I do flows out of a place of intimacy with Jesus, and as such, by cutting down my devotional time, I was cutting out the very life of my ministry. Every morning the Lord would speak to me about what that day would look like, and the questions I needed to answer, and by cutting down my time with Him, I was removing His voice and heartbeat from all I was doing. It was in the place of worship that I would hear his heartbeat for the ministry.
I saw it immediately, repented and thanked Him for showing me and warning me. It is hard to believe at times, but the truth is, we can let the work God has called us to, to take the place of God Himself. When in ministry, you can never put the ministry before your relationship with Jesus. The ministry then becomes an idol in your life, and the Lord detests idolatry.
So, bottom line is, if you’ve had a dream in which you’ve had an affair, chances are that this is not about your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit – He will show you if it is, as an affair in a dream could also be symbolic of generational and bloodline issues such as adultery that the Lord may be wanting to deal with.
More than likely however, it has to do with idolatry – something you’re doing has taken the place that Jesus should rightfully have. Nothing – not even the work you do for the Lord – should be more important to you than the Lord Himself.
For more biblical dream symbolism explained, and a great biblical resource on how to understand Dreams, visit our YouTube channel here. If you prefer reading, download Was That Really God? A Biblical Guideline in Understanding How God Speaks in Dreams and Visions here.
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God Bless You!